5 Dynnyrne Rd for Sale - Not Haunted!

5 Dynnyrne Rd. Hobart TAS, 7005.
Fantastic 4-bedroom home. Sought-after Tasmanian location. 

Has stood for over 100 years (sadly no centenary letter from the Queen), being one of the original Dynnyrne Station houses. Unlike the nearby whippersnappers built in the '50s and '60s, 5 Dynnyrne Rd has weathered the test of time and is a true 1915, federation-style original.

Not haunted! No ghosts, poltergeists or repeating spectral apparitions of any kind observed or reported in the past 20 years.

Protected from meteorite impacts!* Proximity to Hobart’s iconic Kunanyi/Mt Wellington means you’ll be shielded from extra-terrestrial debris, particularly from the northwest.

Well clear of predicted tsunami disaster zone. Be “that guy” posting videos of houses getting washed away while laughing quietly yourself and sipping the micro-brewed beverage of your choice, as any (standard-sized) tsunami steamrolls over Taroona, Sandy bay and Battery Point below.**

Calming Resonance Nexus. Built on rock-solid Jurassic dolerite in the year of the rabbit (by the Chinese calendar), owners of this house will enjoy the rabbit’s creativity and sensitivity, as well as the strength and sense of purpose inherent in Earth signs – or something like that … whatever.

Australia-wide internet upgrade
Connected to Super-fast National Broadband Network! If you’re yet to experience the wonders of Australia’s NBN, buy this home and enter an exhilarating realm beyond the limits of human imagination as you blast down the information superhighway at speeds your great-grandparents never dreamed possible.

Come take a look at this beautiful home. Open Saturday 15 December 2018.

You won’t be disappointed.***

*Meteorites must enter Earth’s atmosphere at an angle of no less than 15 degrees, approximately 170km to the west of Mt Wellington for total protection to apply.
**In case of an unexpectedly large tsunami, follow all SES instructions and seek higher ground.
***And if you are? Well, that’s on you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Flies in the Soup: John Scalzi Part 2

Aurealis #74 - Out Now

I Decided to Make Money From Writing - And it's Working